This week was phenomenal, honestly. With the weather giving us a (brief) break, I was finally able to get myself out of the house. I was both honored and excited when Destry and I went to pick out his first longboard, for a multitude of reasons. Firstly because I finally have someone as hype about it as me, so that's cool. But also because I'm confident it'll be beneficial to both of our mental as well as physical health. Unfortunately it's a bit rainy and grey today, but it's been a very good time of reflection for me. I spent my second hour discussing various life experiences with our substitute teacher, and it was very eye opening. I genuinely enjoy learning, in general, yes, but more specifically I enjoy learning about the different perspectives and opinions people develop and hold, as well as why they feel the ways that they do. It's truly astonishing, the things that we humans put each other through. But just as amazing is the things we accomplish when we put our efforts together. As mentioned in my previous posts, I'm very confident that, as the trimester winds down, I will accomplish my grade goal. I'm so close to having all A's for the first time in my educational career. I know I mention it a lot. Honestly, my friends are sick of hearing me talk about it. But nobody quite understands how much that means to me. Up until this point in my life I was never given the opportunity to find out my true potential. And now that things, to most other 17 year olds, are essentially harder than ever, I'm succeeding with flying colors. I now have to worry about rent and clothing and food and water, things that most kids have taken care of. But I'm completely okay with that challenge solely because I'm surrounded by positive, nontoxic, supportive individuals. I dunno. It just baffles me.
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This week was uneventful, aside from the usual Valentine's Day hype. For the most part I'm continually content with my life as it is currently. Which, in it's own way, is a sigh of relief. The trimester is closing in on its ending, and I'm okay with that for once. It's crazy how much keeping up with your grades on a daily basis can make a difference. Some days I deeply wish that I could've done this sooner, but I'm trying to focus on keeping myself grounded. I'm excited for the upcoming trimester, but at the same time I want time to slow down. In a matter of months I'll have completed high school, and I'll begin (yet another) new chapter in my life. I'm anxious, yet excited. Most days I'm mostly terrified. Haha. For now I'm trying to focus on the obstacles nearest ahead instead of fretting about the future. Overall this week was great. I spent a couple days with a long-lost friend, I got my priorities in check, and I'm happy. What more could I ask for? We've mostly just continued reading our novels, as well as work on our comprehension skills. I personally don't see what the end result is going to be, which makes it harder to focus, but I'm trying to be trusting and simply go with the flow of things. I do think it'd make the projects a bit easier if I knew the purpose to the things we're currently doing in class, however. But perhaps I'm the only one who feels that way. Outside of school things are...eh? They're fine. I guess I can confidently say that I'm well settled into the living-on-your-own lifestyle. I've finally allowed myself to enjoy the new experiences instead of dwell on potential mistakes, and so that in itself is pretty freeing. This week I've also been really thinking about my (our?) senior project. I had the idea to do a coexistence mural for it, and I invited my best friend of five years to help me with it. He has amazing artistic abilities that compliment mine wonderfully, so I have no doubt that we could get it done and be very content with it. However, I was slightly discouraged when Mr. Shoenborn advised us against it. Well, correction. He didn't actually say "hey, that's not a good idea,' but that's just kinda how I felt about it. It made me doubt the project altogether, despite my original excitement. Would we be able to get it done on time? Will we even get approval for it? It would be a big risk considering senior projects count for a large portion of your grade, and Destry's grade especially would be endangered because the project would have to stretch through two trimesters. I also worry that if it doesn't turn out well enough I won't finish out with the straight A's that I've been working my ass off to get. Sigh. I suppose I'll take this final weekend to consider it and get some outside opinions. Hmm. Well this week was pretty great honestly. Academically I've gotten things back in order. I finalized my schedule for next trimester, I got the few assignments done that were a bit overdue, and I actually managed to be here every day of the week (which doesn't sound like much of an accomplishment to most, but I've been focusing on the little things). And on top of it all I've pulled my grades back up to all A's. I'm so proud of myself for that specifically. Things outside of school have managed to be pretty great as well. I took this week to kind of separate myself from the habit I'd been falling into (having friends over after school too often=falling behind), which was much needed. I've been doing a good job keeping myself occupied but not overwhelmed. It feels good. Neil also had most of the week off (which could be part of why it was such a good week) so we finally managed to get a lot of things accomplished around the house that were far overdue. As overwhelmed as I was in the first month or so of living out on my own I still find myself immensely thankful for the opportunity and all of the experiences I've had. I've bettered myself in ways that I never would've imagined, and for the first time in years I can look myself in the mirror and truthfully say that I am happy. It may not be smooth sailing from here on out--I expect another hurricane or two. But I am confident in my sea legs and hopefully destined for the beautiful horizon set before me. I've got this. |